To style or not to style, it is the question. By saying style, I mean “communication style”, which I learned about in Toastmasters training program, the Pathway. Though I don’t totally agree with this concept itself, on which I’ll explain why later, for now let me just share about what it is.
Let’s start with the definition of communication style, and the typical examples in the training materials that I went through. As indicated by its name, it is about the style of communication. In other words, it is the behaviour that we act out when we are exchanging information with other people. It includes how we organize contents under communication in our minds as it goes, as well as the ways that we perform talking and listening. It is important for us to build the awareness of our behaviors since it determines how effective the communication will be.
According to the training materials, there are four styles of communication: Direct, Initiating, Supportive, and Analytical. When I’m talking in Direct style, I’ll provide information and direction in a very straightforward way, and it may even seem to be rude sometimes. For Initiating style, I’ll try to create influence on the other party in the conversation with mood and emotion. For Supportive style, I’ll listen calmly and patiently to provide affirmation and feedback to the speaker. And for Analytical style, I’ll back my statements with numbers and facts.
I’ll give an example and show what these styles may look like. Imagine that it is Monday morning in the office, and I want to tell you to start working.
- Direct: Move!
- Initiating: Another great week is about to begin! Let’s get the engine started!
- Supportive: How are you? Anything that I can do to help you? I have no doubt you’ll be great!
- Analytical: Scientifically it is beneficial to boost productivity on Monday morning.
Remember that I said at the beginning that I don’t totally agree with this concept? Here comes my question: is it really about styles, or just different elements that we can utilize in our communication?
If we take a closer look at what is actually happening when we communicate, we are talking, listening, providing or getting emotional support, and making validation with numbers. They could happen concurrently in one communication, rather than excluding each other. Communication is a connection between people, which has so many potentials that is far beyond this rigid framework of 4 styles. In my opinion, communication style should be a tool to enable ourselves, instead of a set of stereotypes that limit our interactions.
To style or not to style, it is the question. If you ask me, I’ll tell you: don’t treat these examples as styles exclusive to each other, instead, use them as dimensions to expand your connection with others. And it will take you far.